Do you know that feeling when you just feel like giving up on a relationship? Do you wonder why things never work out and if it is actually worth trying?
Maybe the relationship has just run its course and isn’t meeting your needs anymore. Or maybe there’s someone else in his life.
The feelings of frustration, hurt, anger or sadness can make you emotionally exhausted to the point where breaking up seems like the easiest way out of the situation. But before you decide to break off your relationship for good, remember these three words: “I am enough”.
Often we get into relationships with people who don’t treat us right because we don’t think we’re worthy of better treatment. You need to start believing that you deserve more than what you’re getting. Read on to find out how you can do this and win back your relationship.
1. Make a list of all the things that you used to love about him
This is a good starting point for figuring out if he’s actually worth going back to. The relationship probably wasn’t bad from the start, but certain relationships habits or character traits may have been rubbing you the wrong way. Maybe he doesn’t even open up to you or take your relationship as seriously as you do? It could be simple stuff like leaving his dishes in the sink, not replying quickly enough when you text him first or even forgetting important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries.
Write everything down that has been irritating you recently. Of course, no relationship is perfect, and he might be a good guy at heart, but if your relationship doesn’t make you happy anymore, it’s time to move on.
2. Don’t be afraid to seek outside help
If you still think that this relationship could work out in the long run or perhaps you simply need an outside opinion on the situation, don’t hesitate to seek the advice of friends or family members who have been in similar situations before. They can give you a more objective view of what’s going on? Maybe they have some relationship tips for saving your relationship? Remember, you’re not alone, and there are people out there who want nothing more than to see you happy again.
3. Give him a taste of his own medicine
This is your relationship, and you need to take ownership of it. You don’t have to be a doormat for him to walk all over. If he’s used to you putting in most of the effort, make him work now. He has been neglecting your relationship for too long as it is, and now it’s your turn to show him what he will lose if he doesn’t change his ways.
Stop texting him first and instead wait for him to reply. Leave chores around the house that need doing and expect him to do them with no questions asked. Don’t put up with excuses or poor behaviour anymore, and stop agreeing to things that don’t suit you just because you’re afraid of rocking the boat.
4. Give yourself time apart from each other
There’s no point in dragging out a relationship that isn’t working. If he doesn’t see what he is doing wrong and isn’t willing to change, it’s time for you to leave him. Tell him exactly how you feel but don’t do it over text or email, as this simply makes the situation less personal and easier for him to brush off.
You need to take a step back from the relationship so that you can evaluate if being with him really is going to make you happy.
5. Forgive yourself for making mistakes in your relationship
It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it also takes two people who are willing to put in the effort. This means accepting your share of responsibility even when things go wrong. It’s easy to blame relationship problems on your partner, but this is an expeditious way to destroy trust and will only lead to more relationship problems in the future.
6. “Unfriending” him on social media
Now that you’ve ended your relationship, it’s time to remove him from all social media platforms so that he isn’t able to contact you whenever he pleases. If he does try and get in touch with you, simply ignore his messages as this shows him how much of a nuisance he has been during the relationship.
Don’t feel guilty about doing this because it can be hard to stop yourself from feeling hurt when someone who was once close to you tries yet again to make contact after you’ve made it clear that you have no interest in being friends with him.
7. Address relationship problems before they even start
This may seem like common sense, yet so many people put off relationship problems until it’s too late.
If there is something bothering you about the relationship, address it as soon as possible because avoiding issues will only make things worse over time. Figure out what the problem is and ask yourself if you need to move on from it or whether you can both work together to fix it.
Remember that relationships take two people who are willing to communicate openly and be honest with each other to take responsibility for their own actions.
8. Challenge yourself to get fit again
It might not be part of your lifestyle right now but working out and exercising is a great way to take your mind off relationship problems. It’s also a good idea to lose any extra weight you’ve gained whilst being in this relationship as it will not only make you feel better, but it’ll also give you more confidence if and when dating again.
You don’t have to go all out and train for hours on end, just taking a half-hour walk every day can help boost your mood and allow you some time away from work, home and relationship worries.
9. Get back into hobbies that were fun before the relationship
Remember the things that excited and interested you before this relationship? Well, now is the time to get back into them because they are sure to be even more enjoyable now that you’re single. Don’t let relationship stress put pressure on you to do something that you don’t actually want to do and instead spend your time doing what makes you happy. Remembering why you enjoyed your hobbies before the relationship will help motivate you to get out there and start having fun again.
10. Talk about relationship problems with family and friends
It’s important to remember that this relationship isn’t just affecting you and him; it’s also affecting everyone around because they care for both of you. So now is the time to seek out some relationship advice from someone who knows what they’re talking about and can give you guidelines on how best to handle the situation.
It’s also a good idea to talk it through with a close friend or relative because sometimes, simply saying things aloud helps us work out what we need to do next.
11. Follow relationship tips from relationship experts
There are plenty of relationship tips and advice online, so it’s a good idea not to put all your eggs in one basket when looking for relationship help. Keep an open mind and remember that relationship advice isn’t the same for every relationship. You should try and follow the advice that seems applicable to your situation, rather than something that doesn’t suit you at all.
Remember that while there is no “one size fits all” approach to relationships, there are many people who can provide some great relationship advice without lecturing or putting any pressure on you at all.
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