How would you feel if a relationship you were involved in ended abruptly? One day everything was going smoothly, and the next day, your significant other vanished. Unfortunately, dating someone for a couple of weeks is how relationships end in today’s society. If this has happened to you before, it can be very frustrating, confusing and leads to countless questions buzzing around your head.
You may have read our article on relationship ghosting which explains what relationship ghosting is and why people ghost relationships. That article also advises on what to do if that happens to you as well as tips from the opposite perspective of how not to be scared off from a relationship by being too clingy or inexperienced. Here we will focus on the best ways to respond when somebody ghosts you as opposed to relationship ghosting as a whole.
This article will require relationship experience to understand the perspectives of those ending the relationship instead of those being left behind wondering what happened. Please remember relationship experience is not a prerequisite to reading our articles however, if you’ve never been in a relationship before, it can be difficult to understand what somebody means when they say certain things.
We hope this article will help those who have experienced relationship ghosting and looking for advice on how to respond.
This doesn’t mean that those without relationship experience can’t read this article or share it with their friends who have been ghosted before however, we would recommend reading our relationship ghosting article to gain a better understanding of how relationships end and why people do not tell others what has happened.
We also recommend you go through some past experiences in your head to try and see both sides of the perspective. Try to reflect how you acted towards them and how they reacted towards you.
Here are our top tips on how to respond to a guy that ghosts you:
1) Don’t retaliate
HOLD BACK YOUR JEALOUSY AND INTRIGUE AT THE SAME TIME
When somebody leaves your life like the wind, you may feel like you need answers about why this happened, which is only natural considering the circumstances. The best way to get these answers is by waiting patiently; whether or not somebody decides to come back into your life (and hopefully they do) is completely up to them.
The most likely reason somebody leaves abruptly is they do not want to be in the relationship anymore and know that there would be a confrontation if you were to find out. If you confront them, they will only get defensive and may say things they did not mean.
It is always better to wait for them to come back into your life (if they do), giving yourself time before the conflict begins.
2) Do not go looking for answers
DO NOT LOOK FOR ANSWERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA OR OTHER PEOPLE’S PHONE CALLS
If somebody has ghosted you before, it can be challenging to know where to look when trying to find answers about why somebody had done so. If somebody wants some time alone after ending a relationship, you must respect their decision and decide not to seek answers. If they do not want to be with you anymore, then the relationship has already ended. It does not matter how many times you try calling or texting them.
3) Be calm and collected
MAKE YOUR POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON THE SITUATION EVIDENT BY NOT RAISING YOUR VOICE OR GETTING ANGRY WHEN THEY HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG
When somebody leaves a relationship abruptly, it can hurt your feelings and make you feel like you have done something wrong them to go without any warning. Hold back those feelings as nothing productive will come from confronting them or raising your voice at them. If you do not understand why they left, be sure to ask their friends, who may have some insight into what happened.
4) Do not play guilt trips
PLEASE YOURSELF BY REMINDING YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FORGIVE THEM FOR
It can be difficult letting go of the relationship. if somebody has been ghosted, this will make it even harder to move on from a relationship that was ended suddenly without any warning. Aim to please yourself by making yourself believe that you have done nothing wrong for them to want to leave abruptly. Try your best to push all thoughts away about the relationship and make it evident that you have moved on from them.
If they were to return, they would notice this change in your emotions and be sure to appreciate it if they ever did think of returning.
5) Do not assume what happened
TRY TO ASSUME THAT THEY ARE NO LONGER INTERESTED IN YOU AS MUCH AS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THEM
When somebody leaves you abruptly without any warning, one of the hardest things to deal with is assuming why this has happened. Calm down by reminding yourself that relationship ghosting happens, and people usually do not say goodbye because their relationship probably did not mean much to them. This does not mean that their relationship meant nothing; rather, saying goodbye is part of relationship etiquette.
If their relationship meant nothing to them, they would not have ghosted you, but this does not mean that the relationship was meaningless, nor does it mean that you should move on from them or stop caring about what happened.
6) Do not be angry for too long
TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANGER UNDER CONTROL; IT WILL ONLY HURT YOU IN THE LONG RUN
When somebody leaves your life abruptly without any warning, it can cause anger and resentment to rise up in your body. Try to keep your anger under control but do not ignore it; try talking to friends if you can about how you feel because entering back into a relationship after being ghosted is difficult even if you both still like each other. Please do not keep the anger for too long as it will only hurt you more and make relationship re-entry even harder.
7) Do not blame yourself
TRY TO REMOVE SELF BLAME FROM YOUR REACTION; THERE IS NO NEED TO CRITICISE YOURSELF ABOUT THIS
Relationship ghosting happens, and sometimes it can be difficult to know why somebody has done this. Try your best to remove self-blame from your actions with relationship ghosting because there is always an excuse behind the sudden disappearance that does not involve you.
Even if relationship ghosting resulted from things that happened in a relationship between both parties, these problems were probably nothing to do with you.
If somebody left because of relationship problems it is highly likely that these problems would have got worse had you not broken up with them. Avoid making assumptions about what happened, and be sure to take this advice on board.
8) Be patient
TRY TO LEAVE THEM AS YOUR LAST THOUGHT WHEN YOU GO TO BED AND YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP
Relationship ghosting can be hard to deal with but try your best not to act upon any type of relationship re-entry if somebody leaves abruptly without any warning. If they do contact you again, the relationship will only get harder to maintain than before so be patient over text messages or phone calls even if relationship ghosting did happen.
9) Do not ask them why they left abruptly without any warning
TRY TO AVOID ASPIRING FOR AN EXPLANATION BEHIND THEIR ACTIONS. YOU WILL ONLY PUSH THEM AWAY FROM YOU FURTHER
If you acted upon relationship re-entry when somebody ghosted you, avoid asking the person why they did this. Relationship ghosting happens, and it is better to be upfront about what happened than to bother the other party with questions that will only make them feel pressured.
The relationship will be much harder to maintain than before if you ask these questions so do not bear any expectations for an explanation behind their actions.
10) Do not try to contact them again after relationship re-entry
TRY TO AVOID TEXT MESSAGING OR CALLING THEM. THIS WILL ONLY MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP HARDER FOR YOU AND THEM
If somebody relationship ghosts you and relationship re-entry happens a few days later, avoid contacting them via text messages or phone calls. It is better for the relationship to have a clean break than it will be if ghosting occurs again from relationship re-entry. This is because relationship ghosting means that they do not want to be in contact with you anymore.
11) Move on from them or stop caring about what happened
TRY TO REMOVE EXPECTATIONS FROM THE RELATIONSHIP AND LEAVE THE OTHER PARTY BEHIND YOU FOREVER. THERE IS NO NEED TO STRAIN YOUR LIFE OVER SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU ANYMORE
If relationship re-entry cannot be achieved, try to move on from the person or stop caring about what happened between you both. There is no need to keep thinking about relationship re-entry because it is better to be upfront about relationship ghosting rather than talking about it.
If relationship re-entry does happen, bear in mind that relationship ghosting can still occur if the re-entry happens after ghosting.
A clean break is always best for relationships, especially when somebody relationship ghosts you. Try not to look at the situation in a negative way but instead view it as an opportunity to move on or let go of expectations with somebody who is no longer involved in your life.
If you want more tips concerning relationships, or getting involved in one, click here.